Get a Load of This Chef-Created Gourmet Meal Using McDonald’s Fries and Chicken Nuggets That Internet Idiots Throw Away Because It’s Too Small

You give those Neanderthals whose idea of ​​”gourmet” is splurging for “Freschetta” frozen pizza on the usual “Jack” 5 for $10 special a notice via social media and what are you waiting for?

These people (usually) have worse taste than Nate.

There’s nothing to get upset about either. It’s not fucking Olive Garden that puts spaghetti and meatball nachos, or bowls of meatball pizza on their menu. He was a weird grown man tik toker approaching a very well trained and highly acclaimed chef with a fun, Chopped styling challenge, and she knocked it out of the park.

Would I try this dish? Damn I would. I live on the belief that we only ride this merry-go-round called life once (unless you practice Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism or Sikhism and believe in reincarnation) we should so all try at least once. After all, how can you say you don’t like something if you’ve never tried it?

Plus, I love tortellini. I feel like this video further proves my theory that they’re also making a giant comeback.

When I was a kid, I grew up eating them all the time in the winter when my mom made chicken soup. Instead of big egg noodles, it would replace tortellini. If you’ve never tried this, give it a try, it’ll screw up your whole view of shit.

Over the past year I’ve started to see tortellini pop up on a few menus at places I’ve been and couldn’t be happier. (Lago in Cleveland has a great dish. And Monteverde in Chicago is off). Tortellini is the little-known, but superior in every way, little brother of ravioli. Ravioli grabs the headlines, but tortellini is the expert’s choice.

For one thing, their shape and design allow them to retain their shape and texture better. If you like your pasta al dente, the tortellini will get you there. Ravioli, through no fault of their own, unfortunately cannot. They simply have too much surface area, spread over a wide square shape, pinched at the sides, requiring far too much stretched pasta to contain its contents.

Have you ever boiled unfrozen ravioli? It’s a crap show in the pot. You can always count on casualties and collateral damage. Tortellini have a much lower death rate… (Find me a better spread of pasta. You can’t)

It also reminds me of one of the best dishes I have ever had in my life. Actually two. Both here in Chicago, at the descendants of Alinea Group, Next and Roister, respectively…

If you have no idea what Alinea is and enjoy amazing dining experiences, do yourself a favor and book a reservation online (months later) and book a trip around her. Trust me. If you don’t like this stuff, please ignore the following and start enjoying your Encore TV dinner and Mountain Dew again.

I’m good friends with the chef who opened Roister for Alinea Group, Chef Andrew Brochu, so I was lucky enough to have a connection that my friends and I went there on a fairly regular basis. (Michelin star decorated, no big deal). Roister is Alinea’s most accessible and relaxed concept. They had this dish which was a deconstructed chicken noodle soup that sounds so weird to describe and was really one of those things you had to try to believe.

It came in a large, deep soup bowl and had all the parts of a traditional chicken soup, but they were separated in the bowl and overdone. A few times I ordered this, there was even a matzah ball that was also off the charts. When you combined them all, it tasted like magic. You can also sample each part individually if you wish. It sounds weird and strange and I don’t do it justice at all, but it was just one of dozens of things on the menu that would rock your world.

Next door, at their other place Then, they had something so crazy. (Then it was a step up from Alinea in price and design, but not quality or experience) They offer a rotating menu which I think changes quarterly. It is a 12 class experience centered around a different theme. One of the times I went the theme was “Childhood” so it was all games and spins on things you remember when you were a kid.

For example, one of the first dishes was presented in those tin lunch boxes that our parents had when they were children with cartoon characters and sesame. You opened it and there were these items in zip lock bags like you would for school lunch. One was a homemade Oreo using truffle in the cookie and some sort of whipped cream in the center that made you feel like you were floating on clouds when you ate it. Another was half of the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich you’ve ever had in your life. Ingredients all homemade from scratch. Another standout was a homemade fruit roll, also made from scratch, which was amazing.

Anyway, the dish I’m talking about came out on a giant glass plate and looked like a Jackson Pollack painting. Someone took a bunch of squeeze bottles and squirted what looked like ketchup, mustard and a thousand island sauces all over the plate in a clever way.

Our server explained that it was their game on a Big Mac and that we should mix everything on the plate and try it. That’s exactly what we did and damn it, it tasted like the freshest, most satisfying Big Mac you’ve ever tried in your life. Mind-blowing stuff. (I realize I’m a weirdo about this stuff and honestly, I don’t care. I love food and eating as much as I love anything.)

So all that said, everyone, relax.

If you knew a little about haute cuisine, you would know that it is not a true dining and dining experience, unless you leave with your wallet as empty as your stomach and have to stop at McDonald’s (or Portillos) for a burger afterwards. Sure, you pay through the nose, but don’t expect to come away full.

Stop giving these losers on tik tok views that dump a ton of shit on their kitchen counter and ruin it with their hands and then on the counter. And stop freaking out about inventive challenge-type stuff like this. Totally different. Most importantly, start showing some serious respect for the tortellini.

Here is the whole video-

ps – food processors are a complete game changer. Have you ever wondered how chefs turn things into the craziest things? 9 times out of 10 it includes a food processor.

ps- Chief Amy Brandwein is a bad ass. I couldn’t go to Centroline again, but I’ve been to piccolina and it’s awesome. They make amazing focaccia and pizza. My godson and his family live in DC and the last few times I’ve been there I’ve been really impressed with how high the food game continues to be there. Last week we went to The Ardent and ordered just about everything on the menu and was seriously impressed.

pps – here’s the video of when I took a behind-the-scenes tour of Eminem’s “Mom’s Spaghetti” restaurant in Detroit